I'M WIDE AWAKE, IT'S MORNING

Its only been 10am in the morning and im alrd in tears. but unfortunately, this time, is not regarding my love life. is something completely different.

i woke up and went down to get me a glass of water and my grandpappa ask me to do him a favour. he then took his cell phone, dial the number and he ask me to speak to my cousin, my baby girl cousin, she's lik 2 this year. And frankly speaking, she's the most beautiful baby i've ever seen. She has this charm in her, not saying other babies don't have them, but she's different you know. she has this glow, this charm, this thing in her that attracts ppl to her and rather instantly they will fall in love at the 1st glance. She has like random ppl on the street coming up to her and complimenting tht she's one of the most cutest/beautiful baby they ever seen. Everyone adores her.

The thing is, her parents is a career people. They don't have the time to take care of her and give her the attention tht she needed and thus my grandmomma and grandpappa decided to take care of her, babysit her. and she has been living with me for almost a year now, under the care of my grandparents. and just recently, she went back home to stay for good due to some wars between the grandparents it seems. the other side wants to take care of her, wants her.

sigh.. my grandparents know better than to argue so they let her go. and honestly, for the 1st time im actually feeling sad for my grandpappa. he loves her so much. adores her. my grandpappa is a guy with tough outlook and tough attitude(used to be like some sort of mafia). he has the look of a guy tht, "clearly you be out of ur mind to mess with a guy like me." I used to remember when i was younger, and some guys will just love to bullied me and my grandpappa have seen to tht himself. He protects me alot. and i think he still is, until now. My grandpappa is an active person,as u can say, hell, he goes swimming, drinking every other night. I think his social life is way moree attractive than mine. i know, its pathetic =.=

But anyway, the thing is, i saw him today clearly for who he is, tht side of him. and it was full of longing, and affection and hope. it was gentle, it was soothing. and he was talking on the phone with my baby girl cousin and he was speaking gently, i see the way he speaks and it burdens me so much tht she is away from him. he loves her so much. he misses her. He was telling her all about the places they used to go together, he used to bring her along and he was reminding her to be a good girl and listen to your parents and many more.

and i just stand there, listening to everything and i suddenly felt this lump stuck in my throat. this stinging in my eyes, this weight in my chest. I quickly ran upstairs and just in time, the tears were alrd flowing down. I crash on my bed instantly and left in my own thoughts.

if you look closely enough, you can find hope in the words of children.

I love my grandpappa.